I bet that no one realizes

     What is a real cigarette crisis.

     I brought a pack of cigarettes to the schoolyard today

     Suddenly all kids said sweetly: "Hey!

     What's up? Don't you remember us?"

     

     Me: No.

     

     Guy #1: How come? We have a class together!

     

     Me: You don't even remember

     When was the last time you were there.

     

     Guy #1: Anyway, you got a pack - don't you think you should share?

     

     Me: Fine, all right take a cigarette, yo.

     

     I turned around and I heard: "Hello."

     

     Girl #1: Don't you say hi to your best friend?

     

     Me: Well, my best friend? No offend,

     But we had a fight an hour ago.

     

     Girl #1: The fight was nothing. Forget this shit, yo.

     

     Me: Ok, no more fight. No more stupid fight.

     

     Girl#1: Look, babe, I've got a lighter

     But nothing to light.

     

     I was freaking angry, but freaking calm

     So I put the cigarette right in her palm.

     I unzipped a pocket to put the pack inside

     When someone hugged me very tight.

     

     Me: What the hell? What the fuck?

     

     Guy #2: Hello, my sweetness! Mwaa...

     

     Me: Hold on, you are a fag!

     

     Guy #2: Not anymore, cause you look so great

     I forgot that I'm gay - now I'm straight.

     

     Me: Bullshit.

     

     Guy #2: I'm serious,

     You are so nice!!!

     Umm, can I get a cigarette?

     

     Me: No big surprise.

     

     I bet, it's not hard to guess

     That someone had to be next.

     

     Girl #2: Oh, you are here! You are my savor!

     Look what you got there - my favorite flavor!

     Marlboro lights?

     

     Me: Parliament lights.

     

     Girl #2: Well that's the same shit.

     

     Me: Didn't you quit?

     

     Girl #2: No, babe, not yet.

     

     Now I wonder whose turn is this?

     Should I scream like a cashier: "Next, please"?

     

     Guy #3: Hey how are you getting home today?

     

     Me: You know, I'm taking a bus...

     

     Guy #3: What did you say?

     You are taking the bus?

     I'll pick you up, let the bus

     Kiss my ass.

     I'll give you everything - love, sex, and money.

     Give me a cigarette in exchange, honey.

     

     Well, it went on... In fact it was funny -

     Five more ex-faggots, 3 guys with the money

     (They had the money, no cigarettes though).

     I should have taped it - it was a show.

     Wonderful people - all of them suck

     If they don't have a cigarette pack.

     Guess what? All the pack was gone.

     I was left with a zero, with none.

     Now I hope everyone realizes

     What is a real cigarette crisis.