Cigarett crisis
I bet that no one realizes
What is a real cigarette crisis.
I brought a pack of cigarettes to the schoolyard today
Suddenly all kids said sweetly: "Hey!
What's up? Don't you remember us?"
Me: No.
Guy #1: How come? We have a class together!
Me: You don't even remember
When was the last time you were there.
Guy #1: Anyway, you got a pack - don't you think you should share?
Me: Fine, all right take a cigarette, yo.
I turned around and I heard: "Hello."
Girl #1: Don't you say hi to your best friend?
Me: Well, my best friend? No offend,
But we had a fight an hour ago.
Girl #1: The fight was nothing. Forget this shit, yo.
Me: Ok, no more fight. No more stupid fight.
Girl#1: Look, babe, I've got a lighter
But nothing to light.
I was freaking angry, but freaking calm
So I put the cigarette right in her palm.
I unzipped a pocket to put the pack inside
When someone hugged me very tight.
Me: What the hell? What the fuck?
Guy #2: Hello, my sweetness! Mwaa...
Me: Hold on, you are a fag!
Guy #2: Not anymore, cause you look so great
I forgot that I'm gay - now I'm straight.
Me: Bullshit.
Guy #2: I'm serious,
You are so nice!!!
Umm, can I get a cigarette?
Me: No big surprise.
I bet, it's not hard to guess
That someone had to be next.
Girl #2: Oh, you are here! You are my savor!
Look what you got there - my favorite flavor!
Marlboro lights?
Me: Parliament lights.
Girl #2: Well that's the same shit.
Me: Didn't you quit?
Girl #2: No, babe, not yet.
Now I wonder whose turn is this?
Should I scream like a cashier: "Next, please"?
Guy #3: Hey how are you getting home today?
Me: You know, I'm taking a bus...
Guy #3: What did you say?
You are taking the bus?
I'll pick you up, let the bus
Kiss my ass.
I'll give you everything - love, sex, and money.
Give me a cigarette in exchange, honey.
Well, it went on... In fact it was funny -
Five more ex-faggots, 3 guys with the money
(They had the money, no cigarettes though).
I should have taped it - it was a show.
Wonderful people - all of them suck
If they don't have a cigarette pack.
Guess what? All the pack was gone.
I was left with a zero, with none.
Now I hope everyone realizes
What is a real cigarette crisis.